I have a confession to make.
I like being comfortable. And the uncomfortable realization as a traveler is that I like being comfortable more than I like to live on the edge and feel alive.
I like it when my parents are proud of me for being an adult the way they think I should be.
I like being warm at night.
I like drinking good coffee.
I like having a full tank of gas and changing my oil every 3000 miles (even though that comes far more often than every three months).
I like having my name on a lease and moving my car two minutes before the meter expires instead of five minutes after.
I like having four digits in each savings account instead of three – or even scarier, two. I like setting up auto-transfers from my checking to build those accounts, and paying off my credit card in full every month.
I like having a stocked fridge and a full belly. I like being able to buy an entire wardrobe at the local thrift store.
None of this is living on the edge.
The Chaser does though.
He will go years without signing a lease, couch surfing his way across America. He will literally have $1 to his name and disappear into the mountains or get lost in the editing process of his latest discovery. He will eat just enough to stay alive because of how sharp his mind feels that way. He will push himself to every extreme, becoming feverish in the excitement. He will walk up to his idols or someone who works in a fascinating industry just to make a connection.
I have another confession to make.
I live on inertia.
When I am still, I cannot force myself to get up and move. When I am active, the thought of staying still in unbearable.
I have been living a content life for eight months. It is easy to be comfortable. Staying in a zone because it’s easier than making a change.
And every once in a while, I’ll catch a glimpse of who I want to be.
Every once in a while, I’ll hit three states in three days and feel my soul come to life.
Every once in a while, the Chaser will take me by the hand and drag me along on his crazy adventures. And I’ll remember how good it feels to be alive.
I am a responsible one. I do my duties, I pay my bills, I wake up early and go to work every day. But my soul is that of a traveler. My heart is that which can not be caged.
So we go. We see new things, breathe new air, feel new emotions. This is who we are. At the end of the day, I will go back my lease. But at the end of the road, I see freedom.